So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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