i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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