i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
