We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
