I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
