i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
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my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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