Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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