Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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