made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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