Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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