Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
im on a boat
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