You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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