At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
