that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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