I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
