I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
