you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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