turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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