I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
