I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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