It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
