The maid of honor just puked.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
