He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
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I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
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I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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