i just had sex bonerless
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
