i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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