I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
