"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
