u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize