I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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