I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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