I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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