Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
