Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
