return my video game
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
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If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success