so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER