You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...