Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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