when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.