the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down