I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He keeps bees of course he's weird