JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
