I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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