i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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