I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
