Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize