Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
