How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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