distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
