he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
