Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
