I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
