felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sorry about my life...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
