he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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