She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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