I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
