Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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