do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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