I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
