She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
