Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
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I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
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I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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