Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My ass is underappreciated
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize