so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
