just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
