Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
