i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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