I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
