Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize