I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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