i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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